Connection Between Long Lost Relatives

Do you ever wonder if the connection would still exist between yourself and a relative if you had never actually met the person. I guess this could be the same as to strangers who feel as if they have always known one another.

My Fathers Dad has never been around, as far as I can remember we have never met and he has never been apart of my families life. I had often thought about this man who had chosen to abandon his sons. I wondered how he could do such a thing, to such wonderful men, as well as to their future families.

I dont think I was ever angry about it, but more inquizative as to why. Maybe this is because I never really had a granpa. I have very found memories of my Grandmas husband who I called Grandpa Pete. Well I thought Grandpa Pete also loved us very much but when my Grandmother passed away Good Ole Grandpa Pete took most of my Grandmas belongings and money and ran for the hills, he left the rest of her family with little to nothing to remember her by. Granted She will never be forgotten and material things are not what life is about, but it is nice to have and Grandma Valerie would not have wanted things to turn out they way they had.

All and All my luck with Grandpas was just Bad. Last summer I started a family tree and it got me probbing for information regarding my Fathers Dad. I never really got much information from my family, except that "he was a jerk" . Well, I know how hard it can be for others to accept other peoples decisions and I wanted to make this one on my own. I figured that there must be more to the story since nothing else was ever said. My wonder had ebbed and flowed since this time.

I stopped working on the family tree because it was starting to cost me money That I didnt have and over the course of the summer we are so busy with mountain biking that I tend to leave everything behind until the cold comes again.

Well Anyways, about 3 weeks ago My Fathers Dad started creeping back into my thoughts, more and more each day I was wondering where this guy was, what he did, and why he left his first family behind. Asking these questions is kind of scary because you always want to hear the good and when speaking with a complete stranger who must not care, you most likely will hear things you dont want too.

This morning I was googling my name to see what information would come up when I happened to see the name Dick Schoppe, which is the name of my Fathers Dad. I knew that Dick lived in Florida but wasnt sure where. I decided to Google his name and see what I came up with. The first site I came across had a bill of sale, someone had purchased an antique vehicle from Dick Schoppe and it stated that he was an ex president of the Buick Club of America and lived in Florida.

The next site I came across had a listing of the members including an email address. I knew their was a possibility that this was the wrong Dick or that the man would just choose to ignore my email and I would never hear back, but something in me told me to press on. So I sent out what I guess I thought was a simple, to the point email. In Hindsight, I have no clue what I was attempting to accomplish. I just wanted to know he was okay and talk to the man who should be my Grandpa.

The email I sent out was


"Hi Sir-

I am a daughter of your son Ken Schoppe. In essence your Granddaughter, which does not seem a fitting title in this case.
I have always wondered why you never wanted to be apart of our life? I don’t expect you to answer this email but I would like you to know that I have thought of you many times over the past years.Your Son has grown to be an amazing man and I am so very lucky that he is in my life. So though I have never gotten to meet you and feel that you have made a bad choice in leaving my father without a father, I guess I have to thank you for bringing such a wonderful man into my life.
Not that you deserve to know this or may not even care, but I believe that people should be given second chances.

Ken has 5 daughters, I being the oldest with his current wife. We range from 18-30 yrs old.
Nicole his oldest daughter has 2 daughters of her own, her youngest is 4 months old and quite a beauty.
Ryan is an accountant and has a daughter and son, her youngest recently turned two.
I, Dana, Have a longtime boyfriend and no kids, we spend our time traveling and doing mountain bike races. I am working on completing my Bachlors in Nursing and then will be working on my Masters.
Samantha is 22, she is currently obtaining her bachlors in child development and obtaining a teaching licensure. She is in a longterm relation a wonderful man.
The yougest is Jordy, she is an amazing girl, she is as bright as she is beautiful. She is currently attending college at a State University.


I would be interested in chatting if you ever decide you would like to know the rest of your family."

Quite Frankly, after I hit "send" It was out of sight out of mind. I didnt think of it again, I guess I just assumed that there would never be a response and there was no point in holding out. I did what I could and thats that.

Low and Behold (note to self: What is the history behind that saying?) at approx 1 this afternoon I got a call from a gentlemen was was referring to himself as "Sir". I asked if this was "Dick" he said yes it was and that he thought I needed an explanation. He explained that the laws for a father where quite different then, and that he was advised by his attorney to not interface with his ex or the children. They went to court and Grandma was granted childsupport and custody of the boys. He was vague as to the custody issues but left it that he only did what he was advised to do. He says that his monetary obligations were always met. He even had to go back to court a 2nd time because his child support checks were being spent inappropriately. He said that was it, he didnt see the kids until one random day when 3 drunk boys showed up at his door. He didnt want to bring up old times and just left it at that by saying that " it is a two way road".
He contacted My Uncle Bill who passed away quite some time ago from childhood leukemia. (he was an adult which is why it was so hard for him to battle.) and I guess he explained things and made peace with Bill before he left.

Dick is into antique vehicles and had always had a motorcycle until about 4 years ago when he sold his last one. He also let me know that he has had 3 daughters, none of which have children as of yet. Dick had a bout with Cancer about 4 years ago and is still successfully cancer free. 3 Weeks ago he went into the hospital for a routine procedure and by the next morning was in surgery having a Triple Bypass.

I am not sure if he has a new lease on life because of his recent/semi recent health issues or if it is just a case of every story having two sides. The guy I talked to seemed extremely caring and had a great sense of humor and a contagious laugh. If nothing else he was kind enough to give a blood relative a call an explain something that has haunted her for years. He did remind me of my Dad some, despite their sordid past.

I wish I could see him, see the resemblances, see the manerisms. The things you gain from a parent whether they are a mother or father or just a sperm/egg donor.

Dick is 79 now and he may not have much time left on this earth. I do believe something brought us together at this time. He was in my head while at the same time ongoing a major surgery that could have ended his life. So you tell me, is there a link between blood relatives even if you do not know one another? Ill let you decide...

I hope someday to get a chance to meet the grandfather I never had. He was very upfront with me stating that he is an old man now and does not intend to try to be the father he never was. He is too old to change his ways and does not want to get deeply involved. He did say that it was very nice to chat with me and that I could call him anytime, he would be more then happy to chat or answer any questions that I may have.

With that I say, Sometimes we may forgot that certain things that seem unfair and selfish are not always easy for the other persons involved as well. Each circumstance has its own series of events that makes it unique and changes things forever. I will be less quick in my judgements because we all want our stories to be the more important ones and truths become stretched and important details get left out.